Author: Nirvana

There are times in romantic relationships where it feels like everything is too much, and you can’t get through these stressful challenges. If you think that way, you’re not alone. It’s hard to get through it, but there are ways to get through even the toughest times where you feel like there’s no hope. Here are some ways to figure out how to get through those awful relationship obstacles. There is hope to get through even the scariest times in your relationship. If you are honest and open about your problems, you can do this.

Communicate with your partner:

It’s not difficult to keep away from things, as not getting involved feels easier than facing the more profound issues head-on, but this is not the way to overcome a difficult time in a relationship. Though it’s not easy, talk to your loved one. You can begin with something like, “Hey, I love you, and I’d like to talk about something that’s been on my mind lately.” it doesn’t have to be so intense from the get go. You can go grab some hot choco or coffee in the nearby café or simply cuddle on the couch. but you do it, and be sure you’re able to get it out of your chest. It’s important that you say what you have to say, and don’t restrict yourself. At times, we conceal things for fear that we might hurt our partner’s feelings, but honesty is absolutely the better way to do it. It’s okay to wonder about where the conversation might go but just speak your mind. Communication is crucial in every relationship, so find ways to do that with your partner.

Don’t expect a particular outcome

You might want things to be a certain way, and that’s what’s holding your relationship back. There’s no right way for a relationship to be; what matters is that it’s healthy for you and your partner, and that is subjective. There are things that you might need in a relationship that other people might not, and there are things that your partner might need in a connection that is exclusive to them as a person, but there’s no “right” relationship.” It’s about letting go of what “should” be and embracing what is, staying in the present moment, and working with what your relationship has. If there are things that are missing that’ll help your relationship get better, talk about those things.

Compare and despair:

You might look at other couples on social media and think: “why can’t I be happy like those people?” but you never know what happens behind closed doors. You don’t know whether that couple is happy or not. Maybe, they’re emotionally or physically abusive towards one another. You don’t know, so don’t compare yourself to other couples. Even if they are happy, you can be satisfied, too, but your happiness is not predicated on other people’s joy. It’s exclusive to you. Make sure that you understand that you don’t need to compare yourself to others. Your relationship is beautiful, the way that it is, and everybody has problems. You and your partner can work those out, but don’t compare yourself to other couples. Every relationship has its own set of unique challenges.

Don’t expect a particular outcome:

You might want things to be a certain way, and that’s what’s holding your relationship back. There’s no right way for a relationship to be; what matters is that it’s healthy for you and your partner, and that is subjective. There are things that you might need in a relationship that other people might not, and there are things that your partner might need in a connection that is exclusive to them as a person, but there’s no “right” relationship.” It’s about letting go of what “should” be and embracing what is, staying in the present moment, and working with what your relationship has. If there are things that are missing that’ll help your relationship get better, talk about those things.

Compare and despair:

You might look at other couples on social media and think: “why can’t I be happy like those people?” but you never know what happens behind closed doors. You don’t know whether that couple is happy or not. Maybe, they’re emotionally or physically abusive towards one another. You don’t know, so don’t compare yourself to other couples. Even if they are happy, you can be satisfied, too, but your happiness is not predicated on other people’s joy. It’s exclusive to you. Make sure that you understand that you don’t need to compare yourself to others. Your relationship is beautiful, the way that it is, and everybody has problems. You and your partner can work those out, but don’t compare yourself to other couples. Every relationship has its own set of unique challenges.

Validating your partner’s feelings:

Everyone deserves to have their feelings acknowledged and validated. That’s important in friendships and romantic relationships. When you and your partner have an argument or disagree on something, it can get heated. There may be harsh words exchanged, but the crucial thing is to hear what your partner has to say, one of the reasons that relationships end is because people don’t feel valued. You want your partner to care about your feelings, and it’s essential that you state that aloud. Conversely, it’s crucial for you to acknowledge their feelings. Try not to be defensive, and listen with judging them. You may feel the need to jump in when they something that hurts your feelings but be patient. Let them finish what they have to say before sharing your opinions. Everyone’s feelings matter, and if you listen to how they feel, they should hear how you feel as well.

Listening:

Don’t underestimate the value of listening to your partner. If you’ve done something to hurt their feelings, you can hear them out and admit that. Say that you’re sorry, but don’t just say that you’re sorry; think about solutions to make sure that these issues won’t happen again. That’s one of the things that is hard about relationships; everyone will make a mistake at some point in a romantic relationship, and you want to make sure that you honor your partner’s feelings and make an attempt to solve the problems rather than merely apologizing because words can only do so much. It’s important to admit when you’re wrong, and hopefully, your partner will do the same, but the only thing that you can do is own your behavior.

Compromise matters:

In a romantic relationship, disagreements will happen. You might be confident that your stance on the issue is right. But, there are three stances in arguments, your position, your partner’s opinion, and a compromise. When both of you listen to one another and make an effort to compromise, you will make a positive change in your relationship when you’re willing to meet your partner halfway in a disagreement. It also comes back to acknowledging their feelings and caring about what they have to say. When you value your partner’s viewpoint on something that matters, that builds trust. And trust is a crucial part of an intimate relationship. It only takes a moment to let your partner know that you care, and it makes all the difference in future disagreements. You have your emotions, and they have theirs. You may not get your way on everything, and they won’t get all the things that they want either. That’s the nature of compromise in a relationship. You care about the other person, and you prioritize what the most important things are to you, and let them have what the essential items on their emotional list are.

Take Space:

One thing you can do is say, “I need space.” Then you have time to work on your emotional issues. You don’t have to make a decision right away about your relationship and whether you want to end it. Taking space from your partner can help you see things clearly. After that time and space, you will have more insight into what to do next. When you have tried everything to work things out, you’ve gone to couple’s therapy, but it doesn’t seem to be working, it may be time to separate. Don’t just kill a relationship because you don’t know what to do, or you’re at an impasse. Try to communicate the problems to your partner and see if you can work them out. It could be that the couple’s therapy is helpful.

Quality Time:

The best way to improve relationship love is to spend quality time together. Don’t worry about what you do together. It could be anything from watching TV to going on a hike. Wherever you are, you can express vulnerable emotions, and let your partner get to know the real you. Love is a beautiful feeling, and it comes with a genuine connection. The more you know someone, the better chance you have at getting close to them. It’s worth being vulnerable with your partner, so you have had a real connection. If both people believe that the relationship has a chance, and they’re willing to work through the issues, then there’s a chance to save it.

Conflict management is the process of limiting the negative aspects of conflict while increasing the positive aspects of conflict. The aim of conflict management is to enhance learning and group outcomes, including effectiveness or performance in an organizational setting.

Sumaia Azmi (A Life-coach, Corporate Trainer & Counselor Psychologist) take this course from BYLCx. BYLCx provides online learning to equip young people with leadership skills, and enable them to have high impact in public, private, and civil sectors.

Course topics:

• 1. How to deal with difficult people
• 2. Importance of the course
• 3. The outcome of the course
• 4. Understanding emotions, the role it plays & pick your battle wisely
• 5. The first step of dealing with difficult people
• 6. Preparing for a stressful conversation
• 7. Steps of preparing
• 8. Right tactics, not people
• 9. Victim role It’s mostly about you
• 10. Mean colleagues understand why
• 11. The dos and don’ts mean colleagues
• 12. Passive aggressive colleagues
• 13. Do’s and don’ts for passive aggressive colleague
• 14. Get help sooner than later
• 15. How to work with someone who thinks everything is urgent
• 16. How to work with someone who’s already stressed out

It’s difficult to be in a parent role when you are dealing with mental health issues like schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, depression, OCD, chronic anxiety, Borderline personality or some other sort of mental illness. These issues can affect the child in their upbringing. What can be done about it???

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1. Value yourself:

Treat yourself with kindness and respect, and avoid self-criticism. Make time for your hobbies and favorite projects, or broaden your horizons. Do a daily crossword puzzle, plant a garden, take dance lessons, learn to play an instrument or become fluent in another language.

2. Take care of your body:

Taking care of yourself physically can improve your mental health. Be sure to:a. Eat nutritious mealsb. Avoid smoking and vapingc. Drink plenty of waterd. Exercise, which helps decrease depression and anxiety and improve moodse. Get enough sleep. Researchers believe that lack of sleep contributes to a high rate of depression in college students.

3. Surround yourself with good people:

People with strong family or social connections are generally healthier than those who lack a support network. Make plans with supportive family members and friends, or seek out activities where you can meet new people, such as a club, class or support group.

4. Give yourself:

Volunteer your time and energy to help someone else. You’ll feel good about doing something tangible to help someone in need — and it’s a great way to meet new people.

5. Learn how to deal with stress:

Like it or not, stress is a part of life. Practice good coping skills: Try One-Minute Stress Strategies, take a nature walk, play with your pet or try journal writing as a stress reducer. Also, remember to smile and see the humor in life. Research shows that laughter can boost your immune system, ease pain, relax your body and reduce stress.

Here are five parenting tips parents can adopt while taking care of their child during the pandemic:

1. Be a good role model:
Walk the walk and don’t just tell your child what you want them to do. Show them and let them learn. Humans are programmed to copy other’s actions and by doing so they tend to understand the world around them. Children, in particular, watch everything their parents do very carefully. So, be the person you want your child to be—respect your child, show them positive behaviour and attitude, have empathy towards your child’s emotion—and your child will follow suit.

2. Show your love through action:
There is no such thing as loving your child too much. Only what you choose to do (or give) in the name of love, like material indulgence, leniency, low expectation, and over-protection. When these things are given in place of real love, that’s when you’ll have a spoiled child.

Loving your child can be as simple as giving them hugs, spending time with them, and listening to their issues seriously every day. Showing these acts of love can trigger the release of feel-good hormones such as oxytocin. These neurochemicals can bring us a deep sense of calm, emotional warmth, and contentment. Through these the child will develop resilience and not to mention a closer relationship with you.

3. Practice kind and firm positive parenting:
Babies are born with around 100 billion brain cells (neurons) with few connections. These connections create our thoughts, drive our actions, shape our personalities, and determine who we are. They are created, strengthened, and “sculpted” through experiences across our lives. Giving your children positive experiences will give them the ability to experience positive emotions and experiences within themselves and hence offer them to others.

Singing a silly song, telling a joke, reading stories, and doing a tickle marathon or pillow fighting will just help you to connect with your child. Help them learn how to solve a problem and make a decision with a positive attitude. Not only do these positive experiences create good connections in your child’s brain, but they also form the memories of you that your child carries for life.

4. Be a safe haven for your child:
Let your child know that you’ll always be there for them by being responsive to the child’s signals and sensitive to their needs. Support and accept your child as an individual. Be a warm haven for your child to explore. Children raised by consistently responsive parents tend to have better emotional regulation development, social skills development, and mental health outcomes.

5. Talk with your child and help their brains integrate:
Talk to your child and listen to them carefully. By keeping an open line of communication, you’ll have a better relationship with your child and your child will come to you when there’s a problem. But there’s another reason for communication: you help your child integrate different parts of his/her brain. When different parts of the brain are integrated, they can function harmoniously as a whole, which means fewer tantrums, more cooperative behaviour, more empathy, and better mental well-being. Talk with your child and help their brains integrate
Talk to your child and listen to them carefully. By keeping an open line of communication, you’ll have a better relationship with your child and your child will come to you when there’s a problem. But there’s another reason for communication: you help your child integrate different parts of his/her brain. When different parts of the brain are integrated, they can function harmoniously as a whole, which means fewer tantrums, more cooperative behaviour, more empathy, and better mental well-being.

Parenting is probably the most important public health issue facing our society. It is the single largest variable implicated in childhood illnesses and accidents; teenage pregnancy and substance misuse; truancy, school disruption, and underachievement; child abuse; unemployability; juvenile crime; and mental illness. These are serious in themselves but are even more important as precursors of problems in adulthood and the next generation. This is why British and other governments are giving parenting high priority.

The importance of parenting arises from its role as a buffer against adversity (such as poverty or delinquent influences) or mediator of damage (as in child abuse). Parenting usually involves biological parents but is not confined to them.Carers, teachers, nurses, and others fulfil parenting tasks with children. Parenting has three essential components. Firstly, care protects children from harm. Care also encompasses promoting emotional as well as physical health. Secondly, control involves setting and enforcing boundaries to ensure children’s and others’ safety, in ever widening areas of activity. Thirdly, development involves optimising children’s potential and maximising the opportunities for using it. Although a reasonable consensus exists about “bad parenting,” there is no agreement about its opposite, particularly in a diverse and rapidly changing society.

Even more variable are levels of motivation for sustaining this complex and demanding job. Most parents care for their children, sometimes against great odds. Yet motivation to nurture and protect children is not inborn in humans but acquired and shaped through past experience and current circumstances. We know that factors such as severe poverty and maternal depression seriously distort or damage the parenting process. Yet under such circumstances parental qualities and skills become ever more important because even in adversity parents may protect children against abuse or exposure to intrafamilial and external stresses.

An extensive and complex social organisation exists for dealing with children and family difficulties. Yet these problems seem to be getting worse, because little is done to alter fundamentally the lot of the most disadvantaged. Help is fragmented between health, education, and social services.Parents are often marginalised to the position of onlookers of their children’s management, particularly in health services.

Crucially, most professional responses are reactive rather than preventive. When intervention fails the cumulative nature of children’s problems means that further interventions become more costly and less effective. This is seen most starkly in conduct disordered and delinquent children.

General practitioners, community paediatricians, and primary health teams are in a key position to promote services for the whole child, delivered through supporting better parenting. They are best placed to identify children at risk—literally before birth—through their knowledge of the parents and to monitor their development and their parents’ ability to meet their needs through surgery visits and health visitors. They should insist that the currently fragmented and inefficient services by multiple agencies should be integrated to make the optimum impact on frequently puzzled and fraught parents. Together with social services and education, they can institute programmes that teach and enhance parenting skills so that parents can take a more effective role with their children.

All this is based on the premise that health professionals are respected experts in children’s health and social development and should use this to promote the wider welfare of children, without which their health will suffer. Above all, this demands an urgent shift of emphasis from reactive intervention to prevention and health promotion—which is well justified by the evidence. We know, for example, that low birth weight and mental handicap can be reduced ninefold and disruptive behaviour improved by early intervention.

The result will be emergence of a “parenting society,” in which all citizens recognise their shared rights and responsibilities for giving and receiving care, control, and development, particularly to the needy, among whom children are the most prominent.

From pregnancy and early years through to adolescence, fathers are a major influence on a child’s emotional and behavioural health. Fathers, like mothers, can boost their child’s mental health through warm and sensitive parenting, good communication, boundary- setting and positive supervision.

WHO defines self-care as “the ability of individuals, families and communities to promote health, prevent disease, maintain health, and to cope with illness and disability with or without the support of a healthcare provider”.

The scope of self-care as described in this definition includes health promotion; disease prevention and control; self-medication; providing care to dependent persons; seeking hospital/specialist care if necessary; and rehabilitation including palliative care. Inherent in the concept is the recognition that whatever factors and processes may determine behaviour, and whether or not self-care is effective and interfaces appropriately with professional care, it is the individual person who acts to preserve health or respond to symptoms.

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